Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Internet addiction – the black side of the Internet

I don’t know if what I will write is related to this post but I just want to share u my story if u r interested; maybe it will help u ...

I have to admit that I have been addicted to the internet for almost 2 years but not on roll, the first year when I was 18 years old the net was some how new for me and for every body, I wanted to know every thing going on in this magical web trying to talk to every body from all over the world, I was so much addicted that I couldn’t feel the time running; it has never been enough.
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The addiction stopped when I joined my university I seldom checked my e-mail and my work on the net was pure scientific; University was great I thank allah millions of times that the addiction stopped during that time so I enjoyed my university with my friends and studied well to earn my degree.
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After graduation; here it comes the second year of my internet addiction; I joined a forum where I wanted to spend as much time as I can there; On knowing every body to the point of eagerly wanting to meet as much members as I can; in Jordan or when I visited UAE also members who came to visit Jordan from out side, I was really excited to meet all since career life is not that sociable and I still have this good view from university life where every body is kind and honest (at least that was my case). I ended up meeting almost 70 members !!!!
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How did I know I was addicted ? Well I think it was very obvious but among other signs like forgetting to eat and lack of concentration when people talk to me; I used to think of every body (members) all the time even when I was setting with my family; some times I was Itching to have a computer and internet connection loooool just to know what every body is doing or talking about; that point when I knew how much addicted I am and how addicted people act (alcoholics and smokers)

I Just wanted to scream for help.

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Then suddenly I stopped and gave it a though! mmmm does it really worth all this ? What a waste of time!! I spend all this time with fake people all what we do is just talking about each others, lying, pretending, gossips, secrets r no longer secrets, people u call friends don't reach under the level of ur friendship standards, grudges, silly girls, manipulative guys,Childish behaviors, I am not an angel but I discovered that all this new for me and I am stupidly kind with every body !! and Spending that time with people where the internet became their life !! OMG it's starting to be mine !!!!!

No Wait a minute I don’t want to be like this!

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I started to question my self why do I have to do this? Spending my precious time with people whom I don’t really know ….. and u know what I started not to be interested in knowing any, some of them I won’t even think of talking to in my real life … I don’t say I am better than them but they just not my type !

on the other hand my family and friends were beginning me to spend a little time with them !!

ok this is wrong !!

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I knew how involved I was when It started to effect my personal life !It had to stop and I had to heal my self but it should be step by step …. First of all The spark started to be extinguished with time; which helped a lot, secondly I kept in my mind the troubles I’ve been through from spending all this time with all these people which u daily discover new unpleasant things about them; When I didn't ask to know but hye I am already involved ....
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I can’t say I quit using the internet or quit participating, but it’s not like before and I started to be very picky meeting any body and there was a big difference especially after I created my blog; I can say I am healed; I am not addicted any more thu sometimes I wish I am cuz it's my space I mean I can be here as much as I can not waiting any body to judge me, hate me or like me ….
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I wish I know why I was so much addicted those 2 years … my life was/is always busy since the time I graduated and my friends r always around; don't forget my family ….. now when I see anybody so much addicted to the internet I can feel them but I try my best to make them hate it and see how wonderful real life and real people whom u can at least slightly know and feel their real good or bad intentionsand and make them understand that all what u r doing is just wasting ur time with people don’t even recognize u, when u already have people who cares about u ….
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But a word of truth ….. I feel more open minded after reading and discussing others thoughts; which I don't have the chance to argue about with people around me, and some friends I met on the internet and off line I, now consider them one of my best friends thu they r very very rare but they added something to my life and I can’t imagine my life without them …..
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Ur input is highly Appreciated

11 comments:

MQabbani said...

طويييييييييل

المهم يا سمسم , الفكرة انه الواحد يعرف شو عم يعمل و يدرك الموضوع بوقتو , انا بحكيلك اني مدمن صحيح , بس ما حسيت اني بضع وقت اكتير,

بالعكس لما تشاركي افكارك مع الناس و تتعملي و تشوفي خبراتهم المختلفة على اختلاف اعمارهن

بس بتعرفي انا اكتير بحب انط من حاجز الشاشة و الكي بورد بعلاقاتي من الناس اون لاين و اعرفهم شخصي حتى لو بكرهم :) و حتى ما اوقع بمشكلة التناقد يلي صار عندي قناعة يوم بعد يوم انه موجود و بشكل قوي , تعرفت على اكتير من البلوجز و ناس كنت بعرفهم من الشات , و تأكدت من وجود اختلافات بالشخصية , بس على الأقل كسرت حاجز معين و النظرة الشخصية الها دور

بس بتعرفي شو الحلو , انه اغلب صحابي صارو اونلاين , يعني ما عدت اتغلب بموضوع انه ما اقدر احكي معهم ,

برجع بحكيلك , انه بضل بدك حدا يجرك عن النت احيانا , لأنه المواضيع بتسحبك و بتعلقي فيها صحيح بتستفيدي , وبتتعملي من خبرة غيرك و كلامهم , بس أهم شي الفصل و القدرة على التحكم و ما اتحسي انه هاد الشي جزء منك

لأنه ياما شفت ناس زعلانه و متكركبه و بسؤال مالك شو في , فلان بطل يبين و مابعرف شو اخبارو , طيب احكي معو , ما عندي غير ايميلو و ما عم يرد
احيانا شغلات صغيرة متل هي بتأثر علينا , وانا هاد يلي بدايقني انه فجأءة بتلاقي حالك في ترابط مع اشخاص و يلي بزيدها انهم بأثرو عليكي

مش عارف الحكي براسي مو مرتب و لا زابط اكتير بحاول ارجع بس اشرب النسكافيه و احكي اوضح

No_Angel said...

the last paragraph should be enough justification, the ability to meet people who are worth meeting and add value to who you are that you wouldn't have met otherwise :D
On the other hand you are talking about being addicted to the social side of the internet...
On the other hand i don't understand the fascination with internet addiction, now i understand that people before the internet used to spend on average
about 4 hours a day watching telly, but they didn't need it for work so add about 5 hours for the internet and u have 9 hours a day i think that qualifies for addiction and makes the majority of us that work in computer related jobs highly addicted i think.
Is it a bad thing, i don't think so unless when you start loosing touch with your environment and reality... till then i think its highly beneficial and atleast more useful to a person that TV :D

Enjoy!

Wedad... said...

It decreases your concentration :D
You spend hours and hours doing no thinking at all! Just staring!

But for me I've never thought of it as an addiction, if I have anything else to do and I'm in the mood… I'll do it.

The few GREAT people whom I knew because of this, in person now…I don't regret it at all!
I'm glad that I've tried right from the beginning to be picky and to set boundaries before getting SO attached to anyone.

Let alone as you said, the variety of people's opinions and experiences that make you think!

el kol be3'lat marrat b qaraar mo3ayan, o meen ma be3'lat! bs msh daiman el 3'alta betkoon saye2a, mmkn ykoon estafaad mnha somehow

Abed. Hamdan said...

My story begins in the 1997, where I found the Internet. I spent almost all my time online, discovering what is it all about. All those I met online were foreigners (because I joined some British chatting room), no Arabs back then.

But anyway, I decidedly stopped the addiction by the year 2001, to pass my tawjeehe. Then I came to University, I forgot about it, then I had to re-connect to do some university projects. and here I am, geeking up the cyberspace again hehe. To be honest, I gained loads of information online, without the internet, I am nothing. and yes I'm talking about my technical profession. :)


Aside from the geeky experience, I can say the blogging is my only social involvement on the internet, and I'm liking it :)

SimSim said...

i am very very very busy these days I have to read what u all wrote 3ala rawaaaaaaaaaaaaaa2 barja3elkom :)

thanx all :give:

Aladdin said...

What is the internet ? :smilie bista3ba6:

I had a strong addiction before, right now I sometimes open the webpage and feel sick of it.

but it did change me, I'm less open minded and un-capable of accepting other people, specially if they are gay.

suhad said...

ya 7abebti ya simsim, 6li3ti bit3ani o ana mish 3arfe :P

to be honest i got addicted to the net a couple of years ago, i would spend hours and hours online everyday, o kont a7is enno badani bi7okni whenever im offline :P bas el7amdella after i joined university things got much better. im no more addicted to the net, am addicted to 7ashish now bas.

miss u loads ya amar :)

Anonymous said...

Hey SimSim,
While reading your post, I wondered!!! Is she talking and writing about my life? Or we share the same lives without knowing so?
I know How You feel, SimSim. I know the pain this Cyber world Caused me. And what's so funny is that we tell people this story,,, They answer you by saying: "Well, It's a choice you made. You can stop at anytime".
How true and feasible is that? Some os us needs to get hurt and watch their souls bleeding in order to quit and take a look over theior lives. One of those people is me; I had to burry myself Nine Feets under and see myself screaming in order to hear my voice.
I believed It will become to an end Cuz nothing lasts forever, but How Soon is that?
I can say No with a loud voice " أنا شفــيت" Yes I did and I never Imagined myself Here.
I Come online daily, but with the different Passion I used to Have for these Places.
I deserve a better life. A life this place cannot give me.

Here I am The Queen Of Drama LOL

Very Honest SimSim Rose
Lasto

amma15 said...

Interesting post! For me whenever I'm under a lot of stress and pressure and it becomes too much to handle (like this whole past year) that's when I turn to the internet. It's like easiest the way take your mind off of reality and as soon as I'm forced to face my life again I feel even worse because I'm so behind on life so I end up getting back on when I can....it's like a vicous cycle!

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SimSim said...
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